Avengers Confidential: Black Widow and Punisher (2014) DVD

Avengers Crap-fidential

Rating:  2 out of 5 Anime Bullshits

Plot Synopsis:  Some guy is making super soldiers and, for some reason, the Punisher is involved.

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008) Netflix

The Future of Avenging

Rating:  4 out of 5 Robo Avengers Trounced by Children

Plot Synopsis:  The children of the Avengers are kept safe on an island by Tony Stark after Ultron kills the other Avengers.  Eventually Ultron finds the kids and the kids decide to take the battle to him.

The Avengers (2012) Blu-Ray

Rating: 6 out of 5 puny gods smashed

Plot Synopsis:  The biggest badasses of the Marvel cinematic universe come together to fight off an alien invasion.

Toy Review: Super Helicarrier

Overview:  I became a member of the Hasbro club pretty much exclusively for this and the Masters of Evil team pack (I ended up also buying the team pack through eBay so I have two team packs sort of by accident).  I kind of waffled back and forth on if I really wanted to buy it but when they went up on the Hasbro website for an actually reasonable retail price, and the not the insane scalper eBay price, I just decided to go for it.

  From the moment I saw it I immediately thought it was the USS Flagg for the current generation of kids.  I never had the USS Flagg but I knew someone who did and they were the popular kid at school.  Everyone wanted that thing but very few parents could afford it.  My parents didn't let me play with/buy me military toys so I was lucky to have the 6 or 7 Joe's I managed to scam from my friends or get from my aunt (who either didn't know or didn't care about my parents no military rule).  So I would go to this friends house another friend would bring their Terrodrome and we would all huddle around our respective sides and play sometimes in the sandbox and sometimes in the basement.  So this is sort of my chasing the USS Flagg and I wanted it mostly for that reason.  It's not as robust as the USS Flagg so it's not anywhere near a substitute but, let's face it, they ain't going to make anything like the Flagg ever again so this is as close as it's going to get.  All in all a good purchase, it's a little flimsy at the joints where the sections connect but when it's on a solid surface it doesn't really matter.  It makes a great resting place for my Costco exclusive Quinjet.

The outside box.  I immediately saw it at the FedEx place holding it for me and I got a little giddy.

Avengers A-smell-ble

  Yes I pre-ordered them and yes they will be reviewed.

Get some of you own!

Avengers (2012, Theatrical Release)

Rating:  6 out of 5 super badasses coming together to fight an alien invasion.

Plot Synopsis:  When Loki comes to conquer Earth it comes down to it's mightiest heroes to protect it in the coolest most awesome way possible.  Iron Man gets techy, Cap gets super soldiery, Hawkeye gets arrowy, Widow gets, er, spyey and Thor hammer times it.  Also I think Hulk smashes (I don't know if you know this but Hulk strongest there is)

Half Assed Avengers Week! FRIDAY! Gotta get down on Friday!

  So this is it, the big day.  For the rest of America, not for me, my big day will be Sunday.  But I've already bought my tickets and I decided to make it my first IMAX 3D movie.  I've wanted to see other movies in IMAX 3D but never had one close to me before.  Hopefully it'll be as awesome and I think it will, I don't see how it couldn't.  Especially now, with my hopes raised at their zenith I can't imagine it letting me down.  At this point, honestly, if it's anything less than a blowjob from god I'll be disappointed.  So let's hope for divine oral.  First up we have the final trailer to get us all geared up.  After the jump we have a featurette about the threat The Avengers face and finally we have Iron Man taking on Thor...sexually.

Half Assed Avengers Week! Thursday!

  Here we have a few trailers, one about the team coming together, one about Hulk smashing things (I don't know if you've heard but Hulk strongest there is and he smash) and one about Black Widow.  The tension feature first everything else after the jump.

Half Assed Avengers Week! Wednesday!

Hulk = 1 army.  I think we can all agree on that math.  The shorter trailer after the jump.

Half Assed Avengers Week! Tuesday!

  Here we have a nice little conversation between Loki and Fury.  The best part about this clip is the small reaction on Mark Ruffalo's face when Loki calls the Hulk "a mindless beast".  It's the look of someone who's had something deeply personal about them insulted and is trying to laugh it off.  It's sort of an outward denial of the comment but recognizing its truth inside.  Subtle but I imagine that's how Bruce Banner would feel about the Hulk.

Half Assed Avengers Week! Monday!

  We start with a bang.  Here we have a brief scene involving Black Widow.  It has been described by some as "jiggly" and those people are right.  But it is also bad ass.  I think they made a really good choice with Scarlett Johansson, she was awesome in the role in Iron Man 2 and from what I see she continues to own the role.  Although seeing the army they're up against I don't know how a badass kung fu chick with pistols can help but I'm sure it'll be awesome. 

Half Assed Avengers Week!

  So I was planning this whole big week to celebrate what looks to be the awesome Avengers movie.  However Department H has been keeping me super busy which led to this week kind of creeping up on me.  So this will be a half assed Avengers week.  This will probably amount to me posting trailers or random You Tube stuff.  I really imagined it being better and I'm pretty sure it's the thought that counts.  So let's just pretend it was this awesome week long event and it was totally awesome and we all totally got laid.

  My commitments to Department H prevent me from going to Avengers on opening day but I will be there on Sunday with a review.  That's right, I will be the last with a review, so come here after you've read all the reviews and spoilers for 2 days to get news you could have gotten anywhere at any time before then.

  I'm starting to have doubts about Half Assed Avengers week...

Avengers by some grind house director, I don't know, pick one.

see more Superheroes

Avengers Earth Mightiest Heroes Season 2 premiere (2012) TV series

Rating: 5 out 5 Invading alien races

Plot Synopsis:  Doom shows up like a baller and starts taking down chumps.