Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Honored One-Hundred: Chapter 2

5 years after the fall of the democracy

                Two gentlemen sit in the kitchen of a tiny apartment.  The apartment overlooks the disheveled courtyard of the massive housing project the two men live in, the highlight of which is a dead tree inside the dirty stone ring of a dried out fountain.  The grass is patchy and dying made all the worse by the dark clouds and when added to the dark brown brick fa├žade of the high rise apartment it created a monochrome world.  There wasn’t much point in gathering in the pea green and mustard yellow kitchen and looking outside but it was a habit these two men indulged while they waited.
                “Jinx, what are we doing here?” Finally one of them said raising his head off his hand, taking his thick frame glasses off his prominent nose and rubbing his eyes.
                “We’re waiting for the bus Bug.” The other replied his head leaning on his closed fist.
                “I mean with our lives Jinx.”  Bug said exasperated, it was a conversation they’ve had many times since the fence went up.
                “God damn it…” Jinx said with a sigh before running his hands through his red hair.
                “I mean, why didn’t we join up with Brace when we had the chance?” Bug asked leaning back his lean frame in his yellow, shabby kitchen chair.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

The Darkness II (2012) Xbox 360

Behold greatness!
Rating: 5 out of 5 Perfectly Executed Fight Sequences

Plot Synopsis: Jackie Estacado got control of The Darkness and managed to suppress it. Suddenly a mysterious group of people show up and start a war with Jackie, his mob and his Darkness.

Sunday, February 16, 2014

The Darkness (2007) Xbox 360

Surrounded by idiots
Rating: 3 out of 5 Darklings That Are Fucking Useless

Plot Synopsis: Jackie Estacado goes on a mission for the mob on his 21st birthday. It also happens to be the day he inherits his family legacy and becomes host to an incredibly powerful shadow creature.

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Top Tenth of the Month: You Dropped a Gamma Bomb on Me

Top Ten Gamma Powered Characters

The Concept:  Gamma radiation is the number three source of super people in the Marvel Universe.  It takes perfectly normal people and imbues them with fantastical and varied powers unlike the real world where excessive gamma radiation just kills you.  This is my top ten list of gamma characters.

Side note:  Rulk and She-Rulk are not strictly gamma created characters.  Their origins are suggested to involve some version of the super soldier program which, in the main universe, clearly doesn't involve gamma radiation.  I already make a few exceptions (including blood transfusions) and I prefer the exceptions I made.

10) Leader -

--Who They Are:  Samuel Sterns was basically a janitor when he was exposed to gamma waste.  He then grew a dick shaped head that later turned into balls shaped head.  He has mental powers, telepathy and telekinesis but, to me, he's THE most worthless Hulk villain ever.  I guess some people think the Leader is the opposing force to Hulk's brute strength but he doesn't become more powerful the calmer he gets.  In fact he doesn't become more anything the anything he gets.  The guy's a scrub, plain and simple.

--Why They’re 10:  His head looks like balls.

Sunday, February 9, 2014

Next Avengers: Heroes of Tomorrow (2008) Netflix

The Future of Avenging
Rating:  4 out of 5 Robo Avengers Trounced by Children

Plot Synopsis:  The children of the Avengers are kept safe on an island by Tony Stark after Ultron kills the other Avengers.  Eventually Ultron finds the kids and the kids decide to take the battle to him.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

I Don't "Get" Linkara...

Seen here espousing his genius.
    I hardly know where to begin.  I suppose at the beginning.  I learned about the Nostalgia Critic through his "rivalry" with the Angry Video Game Nerd.  I learned about the nerd by the time he released his Karate Kid review.  So I've been around a while is what I guess I'm saying and I learned about Linkara basically from jump street.  I was there for the first video and I read his blog entries which are just massive walls of text and nearly impossible to slog through.  I don't like his videos but his written stuff is interminable.  I hung around until about AT4W's Top 15 Worst Superhero's Becoming Villains, at that point my interest evaporated.  To add a little bit of extra insight into this, you see, Linkara and I live in the same town.  Or at least in the same general area, or at least used to live in the same general area because I don't see much of him anymore.  I used to go to the bookstore he worked at because that was the closest bookstore to me, I stopped going when I ran into him there.  I've run into him in Gamestop and the gas station.  Probably a half dozen times total.  There were a few months where it probably looked like I was stalking him but, really, we just happen to travel in the same very small circles.  I didn't always talk to him but the few times we exchanged pleasantries he wasn't a nice guy, he was kind of a dick.  Which, you know, I get, dudes getting gas or buying a video game what does he care about me?  You are out living your life, it's not anybodies fault that I know who you are and you don't know me but I feel I know you enough to try and talk to you and we keep running into each other.  I say that it's nobodies fault but it's kind of Linkara's fault.  I mean you are on the internet, some part of you should be prepared to talk to fans, where ever you may be, and not be a dick about it.  Also I was here first, it's not my fault you were born in my general geographical area.  Anyway that's my history with that fellow (I know his real name but it's not like we're friends so I'll refer to him by his internet name).

I'm now on Facebook.

So, I'm on Facebook now.  No, I don't know why either.  But I share stuff there.  In my real life I have a news feed full of superhero stuff and I share the most interesting stuff I find to my page.  I also post the many pictures I've collected.  I will also put smaller thoughts and stuff on the page as time goes on, stuff that doesn't really fit here.  Check it out!  Or not, I'm not your boss.

Fancy Deadpool's Stupid Comic Tramp Shack

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Monkeybone (2001) Netflix

This movie is bananas! (kill me)
Rating:  3 out of 5 MONKEYS!

Plot Synopsis:  A cartoonist gets into an accident and ends up in a coma.  He ends up losing his body to his monkey alter ego and then adventures into another body to go after his other body.  The plot isn’t really anything special or coherent.