Son of the Mask (2005) DVD Double Feature

Why?

Rating:  -1 out of 5 creepy babies doing stupid stuff

Plot Synopsis:  I don’t know, good luck with that.  It’s the sequel everyone asked for but no one wanted 11 years after the first movie and 6 years after everyone stopped asking.

Dr. Strange (1978) VHS

Fuck you and your leotard

Rating:  -1 out of 5 porn staches

Plot Synopsis:  There’s something about borders becoming weak and a great evil enlists Morgan LeFay to help him eliminate the current sorcerer supreme.  She does this by half-assedly tossing this old man off a bridge (which he emerges totally fine from), falling in love with the protagonist, killing then not killing then banishing said old man’s soul, losing said old man’s soul which allows old man to resurrect, playing an integral part in empowering the protagonist and ultimately failing at everything.  The bulk of the plot revolves around this killing of an old man which no one can apparently do.  Then Dr. Strange is a fucking doctor and the other part of this plot takes place in a hospital where nothing happens.  Nothing happens and nobody grows in this goddamn (Batman) waste of fucking time.

Batman & Robin (1997) DVD

I think we could add more characters.

Rating:  -1 out of 5 fucks I give about this cinematic late term abortion

Plot Synopsis:  Joel Shumacher rapes our childhood in the fourth installment of the old Batman franchise.  Seriously though, this thing is a mess plot wise.  We have Mr. Freeze, Poison Ivy and Bane vs. Batman, Robin and Batgirl in this fucking train wreck of a movie.  The plot is bad, the script is bad, the cinematography is bad, the sound track is alright but everything else is shit.  This movie is a terrorist act against people of every creed, race and religion.