Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) Theatrical Release

Have you learned nothing?

Plot:  Lex Luthor inexplicably plays the two smartest, most powerful people in the DC universe while simultaneously keeping everything needed to shoehorn references to DC's movie plans.

Score:  2 out 5 Batman Murders

Review:  I realize I'm incredibly late to the party but I think I can finally processes this movie enough to where I can talk about it.  When I went to go see this movie it was at theater that served booze.  I had already had a stiff drink before, having ate at the attached restaurant, and my buzz was mostly gone by the movie.  However when we took our seats someone was going around taking drink orders from people.  This was the first time I had seen the theater do this after having seen a couple of movies there, in retrospect they clearly knew something I didn't.  I turned down the drink, in retrospect I should have taken the hint.

Justice League: Throne of Atlantis (2014) Blu-Ray

More like Throne of Atlant-ass, amiright!

Rating:  2 out of 5

Plot Synopsis:  Jerk asses are jerks but this time it’s underwater.

The Batman/Superman Movie: World’s Finest (1996) DVD

Worlds Finest and Worlds Worst

Rating:  3 out of 5 progressively larger robots of destruction

Plot Synopsis:  Batman and Superman team up.  They are the World’s Finest.  Joker and Lex Luthor team up.  They are not.

Arrow: Escape from Lian Yu (2012, PS3)

The Arrow game in question.

Rating: 4 out of 5 People Who Have Failed This Island

Plot Synopsis:  Oliver Queen is a rich, entitled frat boy on vacation with his brothers and friends when they skydive onto an island filled with pirates, drugs and human traffickers.  This game follows a young Oliver Queen as he transitions from rich asshole to plain bad-ass.

This Season in Comic based TV

I wanted to touch on this season of shows just briefly.

This just hasn't done a lot to grab me.  The first episode was a little overwhelming with how many concepts and characters they were trying to establish.  It was good though, despite that it was a relatively solid premiere.  Since then the series has totally dropped off my radar.  The baddie-of-the-week premise is kind of lame and the overall story arc isn't very interesting.  Some of the characters are good while others tip the scale towards the bad.  Penguin is interesting, as is Bullock, Nygma is intriguing but doesn't get enough screen time.  Young Bruce is on a slow boil and Catwoman is a highlight.  Meanwhile I HATE Fish Mooney, I don't care about Falcone or Maroni, Gordon is boring and Barbara has been given a bi-sexual past for no real reason I can see.  If it serves a purpose I can see doing it but it just seems meaningless and is rarely used for anything interesting.  I haven't made this a priority to watch so I'm a little behind, maybe when I get caught up something will change, right now I'm on the fence.

Batman: Arkham Origins: Blackgate Deluxe Edition (2014) Xbox 360

Rating: 3 out 5 Origins That Have Nothing To Do With Arkham

Plot Synopsis:  Blackgate has been taken over by villains, again, and it's your job to stop them, again.

Justice League: War (2014) Blu-Ray

Justice League: Ass

Rating:  1 out of 5 Heroes Who Isn’t a Jerkface Dummyhead

Plot Synopsis:  Darkseid invades the DC universe and it’s up to our rag tag team of assholes to stop him in the war-iest way possible.

Batman: Arkham City (2011) Xbox 360

I AM VENGEANCE!

Rating:  6 out of 5 Awesome Cakes Made by Magic Elves

Plot Synopsis:  Batman takes it out of the Asylum and into an abandoned chunk of Gotham City that’s being used to house all of Gotham’s criminals.

Batman: Arkham Asylum (2009) X-Box 360

I AM THE NIGHT!

Rating:  4 out of 5 Batarangs Whipped at the Heads of Thugs

Plot Synopsis:  Joker takes over the Asylum and it’s up to Batman to stop him.

Batman: Arkham Origins (2013, Xbox 360)

At no point do you play as the asylum

Rating: 5 out 5 Batman Ass Whuppings

Review:  I've been seeing some negative press on this game so I thought I would weigh in with a quick review that's more in the vein of my opening weekend movie reviews.  I'm also very tired as I literally just finished the game after a lengthy couple of sessions, it's pretty much all done except finding a few location files and the challenge maps.

  The game is good.  The game is really good, I would say it's the best game in the series when it comes to pretty much everything.  My still-in-progress Arkham City review puts that game at a 6 out of 5, if this is better then why does it only get a 5.  Well we'll get to that but for now we'll focus on why I think it's better.

R.E.D. (2010) DVD

Damn fine actress and what a woman.

Rating:  4 out of 5 Retired But Extremely Dangerous Government Agents

Plot Synopsis:  Frank Moses gets a hit put on him by an unknown person in the US government.  This puts himself and the lovely pension phone operator Sarah Ross in danger as they are seeking to leverage Sarah against Frank or eliminate both in case Sarah questions Frank’s death.  It isn’t real clear.  Anyway, they have to figure out who is hunting them while at the same time gathering some old assets to help them.

RED 2 (Theatrical Release, 2013)

No woman has ever been sexier

Rating: 3 out of 5 Retired Government Operatives

Review: I'm going to start this with a quote from another reviewer:



"...in a lackadaisical sequel no one asked for except perhaps his creditors, [Bruce Willis] seems unmotivated to smile at all, much less offer a series of emotions that constitute a believable or compelling performance."


--Todd Gilchrest

Fuck you Todd, I asked for this sequel. So if you want to blame someone for this you go ahead and blame me.

Superman vs. The Elite (2012) Blu-Ray

Rating:  3 out of 5 members of a murderous, vigilante super team.

Plot Synopsis:  When a new gang of supers comes into town it forces the public to question Superman’s methods while causing the Man of Steel to doubt himself.

Fan Film Friday 7-12-13: Gambit vs. Nightwing

It looks like Machinima contracted this from the great people at Bat in the Sun so it has a budget behind it and some shilling at the end that's a bit annoying but past that it's a nice little battle.

If I made it: Superman (Video Game)

Outline:  Lex Luthor is quietly experimenting with the remains of the Brainiac AI along with some discovered Kryptonian tech.  This experimenting wreaks havoc as the failures that this experimentation causes the release of Bizzarro, brings the attention of The Elite, the return of Cyborg and finally the release of General Zod.  After the final climatic battle with Zod leaves the city in ruins Luthor merges with Brainiac and rebuilds the city overnight using Kryptonian technology turning Metropolis in the literal City of Tomorrow.  But this sudden appearance of Kryptonian technology attracts the attention of The Eradicator as well as Mongul who attacks the city using his interstellar Warworld ship.  But the defeat of Mongul just gives Lex Luthor the opportunity to challenge Superman on the intergalactic stage using his new found powers to try and end the Man of Steel forever.

Superman Returns (2006) X-Box 360

Man of Meh

Rating: 2 out of 5 cheap ass bosses

Plot Synopsis:  I don’t fucking know, you’re guess is as good as mine.

Man of Steel (2013, IMAX Real 3D)

Man of Badass

Rating: 5 out 5 people from another world

Review:  I was a little hesitant about this movie, most of the early previews looked like this was going be some kind crab fishing dramatic documentary type film.  There wasn't a whole lot to grab on to up until the "You Are Not Alone" trailer.  When I saw that I suddenly got very hyped up for it and it exceeded my expectations.

Toy Review: Green Lantern SDCC and NYCC con exclusives

Overview:  I was actually really excited about getting these as it looked like DC was finally getting it's shit together for decent figures in the 3-3/4 inch scale.  In the press release revealing them DC said that if they sold well and there was demand then they would produce more.  I'm all about that so I got these, unfortunately not directly from DC but the sellers of eBay were charging reasonable prices for them and demand is demand I guess.  If you buy from the gray market then the gray market will buy them directly from DC.  Money is still made and if it's a modest mark-up then it's really no different than buying them from a Toys R Us or a Target or a Big Bad Toy Store (the best online toy store, I think, EVER!).  You can see the BBTS flyer behind the figure, I didn't get these from there, I just happened to get a big BBTS order in on the same day.

  I was really happy about getting these and I was really excited to get them open and then I opened them.  Anytime I open an action figure I test all the obvious joints, it's something I've done since I was a kid and I thought action figures only came from my parents.  I get the figure, I test all the joints and then I play with it.  Well I tested the joints on these and immediately got a 50% failure rate.  Opened Kyle and Kilowog and Kyle broke, opened John and Atrocitus and Atrocitus broke.  I would be less frustrated if a whole set broke but as it is that's like another $75 to $100 to buy the two sets again and have doubles of two perfectly fine, not really custom compatible, figures.  I contacted DC and got nowhere so now it looks like I'll have to repair them myself.  I've looked online and have a few ideas about how to go about it.  If anyone has any suggestions (I'm not shipping them anywhere to get fixed) I'd love to hear them.  This is the closest I've gotten to completely regretting a purchase.  I typically don't buy things I'm on the fence about wanting so I'm usually really psyched about everything I buy but this time I wish I either been more careful testing the joints (even though I wasn't that aggressive) or just passed on buying them altogether.

The boxes, I like this whole model DC has going with their figures.  Only two packs and in a nice box.

The Flash (TV series, 1990)

The Fastest Logo Alive

  Rating: 3 out of 5 weird looking sped up scenes meant to look like super speed.

  So I finally got around to finishing the Flash TV series.  I started it months ago and slowly but surely I've been making my way through it whenever I had time to watch an episode or need to clean the apartment (I did a lot of cleaning while watching Flash).  I'd have to say, after consuming the whole thing, that it was pretty good.  It starts out terribly slow, which is ironic for a show about a speedster, but by the end it picks up nicely and ends on probably the best episode of the series.  The main cast is great, John Wesley Shipp as Barry Allen plays the character well, I think they portray the character as too much of a ladies man however.  In the comics I don't remember Barry getting around as much as John's version of Barry does and Amanda Pays is quite enjoyable as the British scientist from S.T.A.R. Labs who initially shows up to help Barry control his powers.  That's pretty much the duo we spend the most time with.  Alex Desert plays Barry's lab partner but for the most part he's given a pretty one dimensional role (the other guy who also has relationship problems).  All of the supporting cast characters are fun to watch and bring something to the table.

Ohhhh, now I get it (years later)

link

I remember reading this when it came out and not getting it and not bothering to get it.  Now I finally get it and that's cool.