Spider-Man Sunday: Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) Xbox 360

Amazing Spider-Jerk

Rating: 1 out of 5 Terrible Controls, Combat and Crappy Story Elements

Review:  Since I just wrote my frustrations out in my first impressions and not much has changed this will be an incredibly short review.  Here's what I liked:

-Kingpin is in it.
-Kraven is pretty cool.
-I liked that they made Carnage the result of nano-technology instead of an alien being.
-There's a bunch of little references including Man-Thing.  There are also less subtle references to Mr. Negative and such.
-This version of Shocker is awesome.
-There's a bunch of costumes with various additional attributes.
-The stealth mostly functions alright.

  Most of what I said in my first impressions still apply.  I hate the controls, I finally found a better way of getting around but it involved using the "web-rush" mechanic a lot which, in my opinion, takes all the interactivity out of the game.  The hero or menace mechanic is just plain stupid and I ignored it for the most part in a final cannonball suicide run just to finish the game and at about the halfway point I was desperate to finish the game.  The story makes no sense and in no way resembles the movie.  I would much rather take the movies shallow plot over this none-sense.  Another bragging point was being able to play as Peter Parker but those segments are pointless as they don't add anything and just take up time.  There are conversation options but they are, again, pointless because if you chose to simply end the conversation you get all the plot that you need to continue forward.  It would have been nice if they hid some additional objectives in the conversations or some kind of Paragon/Renegade system but as it is the mechanic is just more filler than interesting addition.

  I can't think of a single reason to pick up and play this game.  I was super hype for this game thinking it could be the second coming of Spider-Man 2 for PS2 but it's not that.  It's barely Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six for the NES.  There's no Rhino, no Gwen Stacy, Electro and Green Goblin come and go with NO context.  We don't even see the origins of either, they just show up, you fight them and they disappear.  Which brings to mind the boss fights.  They suck.  It's just a face punch contest until one of you falls.  Skip this game and play something better, it shouldn't be hard, almost anything would be better than this game.

Spider-Man Sunday: Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014) Theatrical Release

Amazing Spider-Meh

Rating: 3 out of 5 Villains Running Rampant in New York

Review:  I've been sitting on this review for a while.  Not a long time, on opening weekend I was at a Con and then I got Con Crude and was sick as balls the following week so I finally saw this last Wednesday but I've been waiting to write a review.  The problem is I don't really know what to say about this movie.  It's just kind of meh.  Also, just so you know, there will be some major spoilers in this review because some of my observations include major plot points so if you don't want SPOYLARZ don't read on.  The non-spoiler version is, wait for DVD, you don't really need to go out of your way to see this one.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (Xbox 360, 2014) First Impressions

The Amazing Asshole

I just got Spider-Man 2 yesterday after work and total I've spent almost 3 hours, maybe, with it.  I just finished the second major mission and defeated The Shocker.  The Shocker, who by the way, looks totally badass.  But, I'm not here to talk about that, I'm here to vent some frustration.

  I will admit that I'm early enough into the game that this opinion may completely change by the time I finish it.  So far it hasn't been a great experience but I'm not quite at the point where I'm going to give up.

  First, the positive.  The Noir Costume looks great.  All the costumes look great and following the Spider-Man game page on Facebook has previewed a lot of great costumes.  I'm a mark for costumes and each costume offers a buff and I'm an even bigger mark for costumes that actually DO something.  Also the stealth system is greatly improved and much more like Shattered Dimensions rather than the first ASM game where it was just not very good, from what I remember you could do stealth attacks from the ceiling but now you can do them from seemingly anywhere as long as the enemy isn't aware of you.  There are lots of collectibles and a challenge mode.  Um... well... let's see... already there are a bunch of smart, little references to the greater Marvel Universe which I appreciate.

  Alright, now I get to vent.  The game doesn't look that great.  Yes it's in pretty high definition but the people look off and move unnaturally.  The controls are not intuitive in the slightest.  I was given the simple mission to stop a car and I failed it the first time because I had no idea what the fuck to do and when I tried stuff I just ended up getting shot off the fucking car.  I eventually got there through trial and error but why is it so difficult?  This is supposed to be the TUTORIAL part of the game.  Tutor me!

  The combat looks weird and is sort of herky jerky.  I don't have any sense of flow and you get one attack button and one dodge so it's pretty much "mash A to win" and if there is any strategy to be used I haven't experienced it yet.  I'm not really having a great time with the combat and I kind of liked the combat in the last game because, while it was much slower, it looked nicer.  Aaron Schoenke (writer of "Patient J", co-founder of Bat in the Sun Productions) did the mocap for the game and I got all the respect in the world for him but I don't think they did him justice in the animation of the combat.  It certainly doesn't look mocap'ed by an awesome athlete.  It looks like someone who didn't know how the human body moved.  The movement is just to fast and, again, doesn't flow.  It's just here's a move, here's another move, here's a flippy do, etc.  I don't think it's visually engaging and I'm bored by the combat.

Spider-Man: Web of Shadows (2008) X-box 360

Rating: 3 out of 5 Hours Spent Web Swinging

Plot Synopsis:  Venom shows up and somehow causes a symbiote invasion that you have to stop.

The perfect defense.

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The best scene in Amazing Spider-Man

When I saw this I thought it was the sexiest thing I've ever seen.  This scene made me fall in love with Emma Stone.  It's a totally unattainable fantasy but I just think it's just the sexiest thing ever.  I realize that statement probably says more about me than I'd like.  Actual high res clip after the jump.  Obviously I own nothing and all copyrights belong to their original owners.

The clone thing is the most important.

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Amazing Spider-Man (2012) X-Box 360

Rating: 3 out of 5 Bruce Campbell and Stan Lee cameos

Plot Synopsis:  In attempt to usher in the new era of Oscorp Alistair Smythe shifts the focus from cross species to nano-tech robots.  It goes about as well as you’d think.

Amazing Spider-Man (2012) Theatrical Release

Rating: 4 out of 5 radioactive spider bites that lead to amazing powers and not horrible cancer death

Review:  I'm going to go for the more free flow, spoiler-free (for the most part) review of movies in theaters.  This is due to the overwhelmingly (meaning no) response to the Avengers review.

  I went and saw Amazing Spider-Man today and I have to say I was pretty impressed.  The movie is a reboot rather than a sequel, which, based on how Raimi left the franchise, is entirely understandable.  You couldn't build a grass hut on that crappy foundation.  I think the logical sequel to that mess would just be 2 hours of people shitting on a pile of Spider-Man comic books.  Also there would be the introduction of the Dirty Dozen which would be the combination of two Sinister Six's and include Spider-Man who would then also have to fight himself.  Also it it would turn out that they all killed Uncle Ben.

  I digress.

Ultimate Spider-Man Series Premiere (2012) TV series

Rating:  4 out of 5 members of the Frightful Four beaten inexplicably

Plot Synopsis:  Spider-Man introduces himself and show’s what he can do while establishing his world, the rules of that world and the inhabitants of that world.

Hold on, you just got a spot on your chest there...

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Spider-Man Shattered Dimensions (2010) X-Box 360 video game

Rating: 3 out 5 displaced alternate Spider-Men

Plot Synopsis:  Perpetual Spider scrub Mysterio tries to steal a tablet and when Spidey shows up to stop him, Spider-Man breaks the tablet with a flying falcon punch.  This causes the tablet to shatter into multiple dimensions and it’s up to 4 Spider-Men across 4 dimensions to gather all the pieces of the tablet before the world ends.

Spider-Man 3 (2007) DVD

Rating: 1 out 5 pumpkin bombs

Plot Synopsis:  Peter Parker is at the highest point in his Spidey career when way too much shit happens in the course of 2+ hours.  Things such as proposing to Mary Jane, breaking up with Mary Jane, fighting Harry Osborn, being best friends with Harry, fighting Harry again, finding out that he killed an innocent man in the form of the person who he thought killed his uncle, killing the actual person who killed his uncle only to find out that that person killed his uncle by accident, turning emo, dancing in the streets, going black and not going back as well as becoming a jazz pianist.  Also plot threads are picked up and thrown like live grenades, characters are corrupted and redeemed and corrupted again just to be redeemed.  Oh and the Venom goes from bad ass to sissy pansy.

Spider-Man 2 (2004) DVD

Rating: 3 out of 5 mechanical nuclear tentacles

Plot Synopsis:  Peter Parker is still having a rough time, because apparently that’s the only time he can have.  When things can’t get any worse he has a total “I swear, this never happens to me” moments when his powers fail and instead of waiting 15 minutes and trying again he just up and quits.  But Doctor Octopus terrorizes the city so it’s time to man the crap up and do what only a Spider-Man can.

Spider- Man (2002) DVD

Rating: 4 out 5 pumpkin bombs thrown at your beloved aunt

Plot Synopsis:  Nerdy Peter Parker has a rough life.  This all changes when he’s bitten by a radioactive spider and instead of dying a horrible, horrible death embodies all the powers of the spider without even the smallest amount of necrosis and goes from awkward teenager to angry teenager to fun loving super hero.